AssTrology

I have been brainstorming ideas all week, but my blog partner and I have only seen each from afar across the sea of the store's pep rally. I dialed her on my hand phone but it only gave me a busy signal. So while we take a few days to put our angsty little heads together, here's a shorty to tide you over.

I listen to the Russ Parr morning show every day that I can, for one reason: horoscopes. They are funny, mean and have great recurring characters (as well as some offensive ones that I don't quite appreciate...I mean really, the Asian nail character is just embarressing.) I really have been hanging out lately to hear Freaky Uncle show back up on the scene. That one's particularly good. "Watch out now" is the catch phrase. He makes a terrible, offensive, dirty-dirty comment, and then utters the catch phrase. I promise it will remind you of a middle aged man you know that can't quite understand that he's not hot at the clubs anymore, or that the family reunion isn't a place to pick up girls. There's someone at work that I think could easily do a killer Freaky Uncle impression. Especially when I watch him chase after female customers that are half his age. If you hear me muttering at work, it's usually narrating his dirty old man antics, punctuated with a "watch out now" as he makes obvious his "appreciation" for the twenty year old female form.

I digress. This morning horoscopes were kind of meh, but reminded me that I've known several people in my life that are named after astrological signs. Seriously bad. Some I understand, others....welll.....Aries, Taurus, Leo, Virgo all seem fairly common, I have known a few in high school and college, but what I really want to know is the thought process on the part of the parent. First of all, does the name match the birthday? I've never known anyone who does. Aries will be a Capricorn, Leo will be a Gemini. Confusing? Second, what reference are you making with naming someone after a sign? Are you really into the stubbornness of Taurus and excited to pass it on? Really stoked to make your kid have a short fuse, and so you pick Aries? Or is it another case of a parent with a lack of imagination???

See you in the stars,
Sagittarius Aquarius von Pisces